I have been pretty discouraged.
In the dumps in fact.
The stomach infection that took me YEARS to figure out and then months to get rid of is back.
Insert big, heavy sigh.
This is way more complicated than a 2 week dose of antibiotics. It affects my entire body in so many ways and takes a ton of effort in a lot of areas to get back on track. It will change my training and affect my day to day life in pretty big ways.
I wasn't going to bring this up. I thought I would just bide my time until things starting feeling better and my emotions were a bit more in control before I shot out a blog post. Like who really wants to spend their free time reading a blog post about someone who is scraping the bottom of the barrel? Heck, I don't think a day goes by that we all aren't faced with some conflict and negativity. No one wants more of it.
I changed my mind about staying quiet about it when I realized there is more to this story than me being a debbie downer.
I have a challenge to face, a mountain to climb, a demon to fight, a wall to bust down. And I will do it one step, one stone and one brick at a time. With that will come a soul that will be empowered, a new sense of awareness, more strength, courage and determination. I will find more pieces to my puzzle. This part of the journey might not be of my choosing but I am confident that there will be many gains along the way.
In 2016, I had the most amazing year as I could train, race and live "like a normal person" having energy, health and a body that did what I wanted it to do. For the first time in a long time. And it was awesome.
Some of my recent discouragement was thinking that would be gone. I love adventures and have a few of them planned for this year and I was already mourning the loss of them or maybe what they could have been.
Don't do that. It's stupid to mourn something that isn't dead yet. There is time and things can change. It might not but it might. I need to remain positive and concern myself with things coming up when they come.
Life doesn't come to us without obstacles. I sometimes used to wish for that red easy button you see on the Staples commercials and could just push it and everything would be good, done, just how you want it. It would be that easy.
But life doesn't always deal cards fairly and add to that a mixture of genetics, environment, stress, relationships and other factors and you sometimes get the perfect storm.
A storm that changes it's appearance steadily; to some it is a physical storm like an infection, autoimmune disorder, cancer, or heart troubles. To others it may be a relational storm that leads to divorce, estrangement, issues with your kids or troubles at work. Or it may also manifest in an individual as unhappiness, anxiety or depression.
A few things through all this tie us as together as people;
1. we are not alone, people everywhere are experiencing difficulties (even if it looks like they have their crap together) so take strength and comfort in number.
2. we all have the same questions to answer- "Will I let this ______define me? I may fall but am I getting back up? Am I going to remain positive and thankful or become jaded and bitter?"
3. the journey continues and our choice in how we live will influence and affect countless numbers of people
My favourite words of encouragement have always been from Rocky.
I have watched the Rocky movies years ago. I can't remember that much about each movie and I it has been my plan to spend some winter trainer rides re-watching. It hasn't happened yet but will someday. He can pack quite a motivational punch (no pun intended) about the tough moments in life, about choices in life and about being a fighter.
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